In honour of the release of the truly strange teaser for The Human Centipede: Full Sequence, I thought I’d post this equally strange piece of Human Centipede fan fiction that the illustrious Tom Lando sent me a little while ago! Called Centipede Crufts, this short story by FanFiction.net user Hans von Hozel tells the tale of Doctor Heiter’s giant pet centipede who wants to enter the Crufts dog show! It may be short, but I think this is terrific fiction.
One day Doctor Heiter was sit in Science Lab, where he was practise a study of the insects.
Suddenly, his pet giant Centipede made danube into the room!
“Hello Centipede!” say Doctor Heiter, “Is good to see you!”
“Doctor Heiter I need of your help!” say Centipede, “It is good you have turned me giant insect, but I have a wish. I want enter the Crufts and win the trophy!”
“What? No silly Centipede!” say Doctor Heiter, “You cannot Crufts, Crufts is for dogs! It is not place for Insect!”
“Booooo hooooo,” the Centipede made a sadly on the floor and made sad insect tears into Doctor Heiter’s science research!
“Oh no! My research!” say Doctor Heiter, “Ok Centipede, stop your cry, I will take you to contest.”
“Yay!” Centipede made happy!
And they got a plane and planed to Crufts Stadium!
“Who is here for entrance to Contest?” say the judge of Competition, as he observe at the dogs. Suddenly, he saw Centipede!
“No you cannot enter Centipede into Crufts!” shout judge.
“I do not accept your Opinion!” yell Centipede, and Centipede ate all of the dogs, “Now I am the only contestant, AND ALL MUST VOTE FOR ME!”
“Ok, ok” say Judge, who made votes for Centipede.
Centipede made a happy dance of winning the votes!
“Centipede you are winner of Crufts!” say Judge, as give Centipede a medal that shone the gold!
“Yes I am winner!” say happy Centipede.
“Centipede I am proud of you win competition!” say Doctor Heiter and they had celebration with party hats and balloons!