Every Sunday, Gill delves into his archive of over 800 movie reviews and randomly selects three for your enjoyment! Here are this week’s…
The Human Centipede
This is a tricky movie to rate, in part because it is only one half of a double-feature, the second film of which will be completed in 2011. So really, we’re only getting half of the full show here, but the film does have a conclusion, and as such it can theoretically stand on its own…even if its victims can’t! The Human Centipede is basically the cinematic equivalent of a circus freakshow. The filmmakers, like carnival barkers, know exactly what people want to see – in this case the titular human centipede – and they milk it for all its worth. Very little time is spent mucking about setting up the two girls who are doomed to be the mad surgeon’s latest victims, and they find themselves in his clutches within the first fifteen minutes. After that, it’s all screams and scalpels, and if that’s your thing you’ll probably enjoy the movie, but much like the circus freakshow, it doesn’t have any depth. It travels along at a good clip, it doesn’t overstay its welcome, the performances are passable (except for Dieter Laser as the mad surgeon, who is brilliant in the role), and it is indeed sickly titillating. But there’s just not much to The Human Centipede, in the end. It will be a fun time for horror buffs, but it won’t be making any top ten lists. It will offend the people that this sort of thing offends and will benefit from the controversy. Anyone who sees it will at least be hooked enough by it to want to watch the second half. But you really won’t regret it if you don’t see it. There are much more interesting torture-horror films out there that you could watch instead of this one.
3 out of 5
Prince of Darkness
There are so many good ideas in this movie that it makes the fact that the film is slow-moving to the point of monotony truly tragic. The premise is great, and there are a few good death scenes, but, I mean, c’mon…Alice Cooper is in this movie and he ISN’T playing the titular Prince of Darkness! What a waste!
2.5 out of 5
Hell Comes to Frogtown
I’ll admit, I’m surprised this was as good as it was. I was expecting Troma calibre schlock when I popped this in the DVD player, but amazingly, it actually had what some might call production values. And really, it’s hard not to enjoy a film which features Rowdy Roddy Piper with a bomb strapped to his penis. It’s extremely cheesy and campy beyond belief, but with a title like Hell Comes to Frogtown, that kinda goes without saying. It’s great for a giggle, it doesn’t overstay its welcome, and would be a great watch with a group of friends and a case of beer.
“Eat lead, froggies!”
2 out of 5
See you next Sunday for three more thrilling short reviews!