A couple months ago, I posted the trailer here for the inexplicable remake of the infamous I Spit on Your Grave and remarked that Roger Ebert was probably having a coronary since he considered the 1980 original to be the most vile film he’s ever seen and gave it what is probably the most angry zero-star review he’s ever written. Well, the remake finally came out this past weekend and surprise, surprise… it earned yet another angry zero-star review from Mr. Ebert! This may be the first time that both a film and its subsequent remake have managed to garner a giant goose egg from the same critic.
Okay, I think the real surprising thing here is not that Ebert hated the film so much, but that he even bothered to see it in the first place! Due to his age and medical condition, Ebert is a lot more selective these days about which movies he goes to see. None of recent the films we’ve covered on our “Shouts From the Back Row” podcasts (Scott Pilgrim, The Expendables and Machete) were even reviewed by Ebert at all! Since he was so morally disgusted by Kick-Ass, one of our favourite films of the year, it didn’t take a psychic to predict he was going to be repulsed by I Spit on Your Grave, so why did he even subject himself to it?! My guess: he simply relishes any opportunity to be grumpy these days! And I must admit, if I don’t have any particular love for the film he’s bashing, grumpy Ebert is very entertaining! The last section of his I Spit on Your Grave review is pretty damn funny:
Most of the audience looked like they were on dates. For conversation afterward if you see this loathsome film, here are some suggestions. Men, ask your dates: What bothered you more, the first or second half? Would you recommend this movie to your girlfriends? Did you enjoy it? (It’s OK, you can be honest.) Women, ask your dates: What part did you like the most, the first or second half? Would you recommend this movie to your sister? Why did we go to this particular film? Did you know there were two new four-star films playing in the same multiplex? Both men and women may find some food for thought in the answers. Certain answers may cause you to ask yourself if you have any future with this other person.