Feel the Cottony Softness

I had a bit of a revelation the other day while I was thinking about commercials like this one. Don’t ask why I was thinking about toilet paper ads, it doesn’t matter. What does matter is the subtle message that commercials like this one are sending to the viewer. Royale has been using fluffy, white kittens to sell their toilet paper for years, with the slogan “The soft touch” reinforcing the idea that Royale toilet paper is as soft as a fluffy kitten.

Now, am I the only person who thinks that what these ads are basically saying is that, secretly, we all want to wipe our asses with fluffy kittens? I mean, come on – they’re marketing this toilet paper as being “Soft as a kitten”, right? That’s like saying “Kittens are soft, but since you can’t wipe your ass with them, use our toilet paper, because it’s just as soft.” This isn’t like those Charmin cartoon bears who just enjoy using Charmin TP because it’s soft. This is advertisers drawing a direct line between the softness of kittens and the softness of toilet paper, and in doing so, they’re essentially making the point that you can use toilet paper instead of kittens. Surely this has occurred to someone else out there, right? I’m not alone on this one, right? Right?…Right? Hello?

Don’t worry if you’re allergic to cats, either, because Cottonelle does TP ads involving puppies! I love how they’re careful to note that this is a “puppy fantasy” not a demo.

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