Make Love The Tom Lando Way! Part 2


Alright, so thus far I’ve only recieved one result for the survey, which isn’t much to go on. Granted, nobody has started following me on grooveshark, so I can only assume nobody knows anything about the playlist beyond the first two songs.

In other news, it was just Valentine’s day, so I guess it’s as good a time as any to get the ball rolling – and we’ve got two pretty big ones today! So let’s get right into it, shall we?

3. JUMPER by Capsule

Alright, now, this one isn’t exclusively a sexual song to me, but it is very important to me and I felt it had to be on the list nevertheless. And any night where I hook up can go from good to ecstatic merely by hearing this song at some point before, during, or after the hook up in question. This is a song that I always include on playlists when I’m picking music for a party, and it never disappoints. I think most people have at least one song that makes them want to get up and dance, and for me, this is that song. And I don’t think I’m alone here – when I put this song on, it usually turns up the energy level of any party by quite a bit.

Further, this is a song that just plain makes me feel good. The lyrics, while few, just never fail to put me in a light state of mind.

“Anger, stress and secrets they won’t break you, wake up, feel just like you’re feeling nothing, freely speed up, running, stepping, jumping, jumper.”

In a sense, this is less a song of the purely sexual variety, but more a kind of song that can totally fill me with romantic notions, and I feel that there will at least be a few songs getting onto this list on that merit. Hell, maybe the message here is, “they aren’t ALL mindless hook up songs.” Which I really wish I could consult the survery for thoughts on, but uh… ahem… well, I won’t get into that again.


4. Make Me Cum by Mindless Self Indulgence

Ok, this one is HUGE. To start with, it’s the first Mindless Self Indulgence track on this playlist, but believe me, it is certainly not the last. In the first entry of this series, I said these were songs that get me hot, horny, or which I feel would actually be perfect to have sex to. Make Me Cum by Mindless Self Indulgence fits all of those descriptions. This is, in many ways, the ultimate Tom Lando sex song. Of course, as will be shown over the course of the playlist, Mindless Self Indulgence is the quintessential Tom Lando sex band, so this song is obviously of huge importance in the musical pantheon of this playlist. This is the song I listen to in the shower on a day when I plan to set out and get laid, and this is the song I listen to in the shower after getting laid. This is the alpha and omega of Tom Lando’s sexy times.

There’s a lot to be said about this song too. For example, I think that a lot of songs I’ve chosen for this playlist follow a rule of having strong basslines and beats. I think this is just sort of a primal thing, a default association with sex. Probably something to do with vibrations. Whatever the case, this song, and many others that I’ve chosen by Mindless Self Indulgence, totally goes against that rule. I think that this actually communicates a larger inconsistency between my views on “sexual music” and the general understanding of such. There’s something about the erratic insanity of Mindless Self Indulgence’s music that strikes a nerve with me that probably doesn’t awaken the same feelings in other people. I know that Mindless Self Indulgence is a pretty sexual band, and a lot of people see it as such, but there’s something explicitly deviant in even their sound which resonates strongly with me. This comes through in “Make Me Cum” as much as any of their other songs – the pacing is wild and varied, the beat is frenetic, and the use of instruments, be they rhythm, bass, or higher electronic sounds, is unpredictable. Again, the style in addition to the meaning I take from it is of a decidedly deviant nature.

The lyrics offer a lot to be explored. I mean, the fundamentals of it are the exact kind of eccentric self-absorbed mania you might expect – it is “mindless self indulgence” after all. Particularly, there’s something that I always notice about the chorus. The words to the chorus are:

“I’m the one who makes me so happy, and I wanna be all just for myself.”

The lyrics are sung twice, but the second time it always goes from sounding like “I wanna be all just for myself” to sounding like “maybe I’ll just fuck myself.” I get the impression this is intentional, but either way, the song remains more or less the same. The song is really summed up with the line “I’m the one who makes me cum.” To put it in another man’s words, “Hey, don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone I love.”

Like most Mindless Self Indulgence songs, this track runs the gamut of human emotion, going from “I’m the one I want to sleep with” to “I’m the one who hates me so much.” But sometimes this is how I feel. In fact, coming out of a one night stand, this is a pretty common unspoken thought for me; namely, I went into sex with someone else, got the sexual gratification I was in it for, and then I came out of it, and what do I have? Well, I have me. You end up being both sides of the exchange, at least in your own mind. It sounds obvious, but it’s a pretty major meditation on the nature of the one night stand if you ask me. I’m not saying that it’s not hollow or meaningless. Hell, I’ve been talking about what it is this whole time – mindless self indulgence. I just think that if you have the right mentality for it, it’s not such a bad thing. That mentality is pretty much perfectly expressed in this song. It’s about you and your orgasm (or, as it is for the subject, ME and MY orgasm) and if you’ve got that and you’re still unhappy, then you weren’t going about things the right way, were you? It might seem like I’m trying to push meaningless sex in favour of proper commited relationships, but that’s not really what I’m trying to do here. I really want to make the observation that both have their place, and while they get confused all the time, if you’re dissatisfied with one, maybe you should consider the other. But that’s all a lot of introspection best left to individuals.

So back to the more self-absorbed aspects of this piece, what does, say, the huge amount of Mindless Self Indulgence in this playlist say about me? Well, even beyond what it says about my taste in music (I love this band), I’m also pretty fond of the actual activity of mindless self indulgence. I’m quite fond of art for arts sake, and there’s very little that I can’t consider art in it’s own right. I guess for me the point is, do what you’re doing. If you get sick of what you’re doing, do something else. Obviously I’m as guilty of over analyzing things as anyone – hell, that’s why we have this column in the first place! But while I am capable of being romantic, I’ve generally come to separate my sex from my romance, and so far it suits me fine. Naturally, given this distinction I’ve established, this playlist caters more to my sexual side than my romantic side.

But what about you guys? My survey still stands!

1. Would you have sex to the music in this playlist?

2. If so, would you have sex with a commited long-term partner to this music, or with a one-night stand? Or both? Or neither? If neither, explain under what circumstances you would have sex to the music in this playlist.

Hope you enjoy the music, the musings, and I most certainly hope that all you readers are enjoying the sex, regardless of how you have it!

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