Every Sunday, Gill delves into his archive of over 800 movie reviews and randomly selects three for your enjoyment! Here are this week’s…
Unstoppable
A well-made, entertaining, edge-of-your seat disaster movie. I was surprised at how solid Unstoppable turned out to be, since the premise of a runaway train doesn’t seem overly interesting at a glance. Both Chris Pine and Denzel Washington give good performances, the special effects look very real (which adds to the thrill factor), and the plot is refreshingly free of holes! I would never call this movie a masterpiece, but it’s an undeniably fun little film that’s a nice departure from Tony Scott’s usual hyperactively-edited movies. It’s always fun to see a director do something simple extremely well.
3.5 out of 5
Cropsey
To date, this is the only documentary I’ve seen that has actually creeped me out. Exploring the urban legend of a madman named Cropsey who was said to inhabit the tunnels underneath an abandoned asylum on Staten Island, filmmakers Joshua Zeman and Barbara Brancaccio discover that the Cropsey legend was based on a real person! Things only get eerier as they contact the man, a truly unstable individual named Andre Rand, as he’s set to appear before a court again for the first time in years. Because it’s a chronicle of real events, the ending to Cropsey isn’t as dramatic as it could be, but that’s a minor complaint. Don’t watch this film alone, because you never know what boogeymen might live in your own neighbourhood!
3.5 out of 5
The Item
I watched this movie because a friend of Vince Nitro said that it was worse than the infamous Birdemic: Shock and Terror. While it’s nowhere even close to being as bad as Birdemic, The Item is a really shitty movie. It’s the story of a group of mercenaries who are sent to pick up a mysterious package and hold it for a night before the buyer turns up to get it. They’re told not to open the package, but of course they do, only to discover that it contains a creature that looks like David Cronenberg’s dildo. The creature then proceeds to psychoanalyze them until they kill themselves or each other, and the movie ends with an art student having sex with it. Needless to say, this movie is really dumb and should not be watched by anyone.
1 out of 5
See you next Sunday for three more thrilling short reviews!