Since it’s Chuck Norris Day here on the Back Row, it was inevitable that some Chuck Norris facts would get posted. For those of you who don’t know (however unlikely that is), Chuck Norris facts are essentially jokes that praise Chuck Norris in ridiculous, hyperbolic ways. They revere Chuck’s masculinity, virility, strength, speed and superpowers! And they’re all true. Don’t believe me? Just check out Robin’s list of great Chuck Norris moments for some proof of Chuck’s awesomeness!
It was really difficult for me to narrow this list down to my ten favourite Chuck Norris facts, as there are literally hundreds of them on the internet (you can read many more by clicking here). But these ten never fail to make me laugh.
10. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
9. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
8. Chuck Norris counted to infinity….TWICE.
7. Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
6. Batman has Chuck Norris pajamas.
5. If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
4. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he doesn’t push up, he pushes the world down.
3. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that’s why there are no signs of life.
2. Chuck Norris makes rubber cement by punching the fuck out of normal cement.
1. When the boogeyman goes to bed, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
What’s your favourite Chuck Norris fact?