Alright guys, today’s entry into this series will be the first of several “double shots” – that is, two songs by the same artist. And who is this illustrious artist that I could manage to squeeze out two musings about regarding both music AND sex? Well, it’s Mindless Self Indulgence of course! Let’s dig in, shall we?
5. Faggot by Mindless Self Indulgence
I’ve been really hesitant to write this part of “Make Love The Tom Lando Way”, because I knew that I would HAVE to cover this song, but at the same time… well, I’m not sure I have the time, nor the authority, to write the “faggot manifesto”. It’s funny actually – I happily use the word to describe myself sometimes. To me the word embodies the very same deviance, sexuality, and… I suppose you could say “edge” that Mindless Self Indulgence’s music in general represents to me. What I find strange is how much flak I end up taking for using the word, even if it’s exclusively to describe myself. I mean, people seem to be all about taking words back these days, like those keychains that let people know you’re a “bitch”. Actually, I think Kids In The Hall even covered this before. It’s not like I’m unfamiliar with the negative uses of the word – it accompanied enough threats and sometimes attacks for me back in high school. But as far as I can tell, the whole process of taking a word back is about making that word lose its power. I’m not really one for objective definitions, but I will say that to me, the word faggot doesn’t hold strictly negative connotations with me. If you subscribe to a brand of sexual expression similar to my own manic stylings, maybe you’d like to adopt it too! I certainly wouldn’t hold it against you.
So now that we’re past that…there’s not much left to say, I suppose. It’s Mindless Self Indulgence, and it holds a special place in my heart, because to me it represents something I would like to represent myself. Same goes for most of MSI’s material, really.
6. Evening Wear by Mindless Self Indulgence
For some reason this song really reminds me of the time I spent in Iceland (probably because I listened to the album so many times while I was there), and I must admit, it’s… distracting. My trip to Iceland wasn’t particularly sexy, which is unfortunate, because if it had been, I’d have a whole story to tell here. Lost opportunities, I tell ya.
It’s also hard for me to write about this song because it’s one of those songs that I’ve listened to so many times that it’s difficult to keep focused on long enough to pick up individual qualities that might be found within. I’ll do my best though. This song is from “if”, which I believe is still MSI’s most recent studio album. This album is…different. Not just different from the majority of music produced these days, because I could say that about every MSI release, but different from other MSI albums because it seems less scatter-brained than the others, perhaps even more…lucid? That seems like a good word for it.
The specifics of the song speak to me for the usual reasons – there’s something about the kind of self-loathing found in lyrics like “I dress myself in fucking lies” that really appeals to me. By the end of the song we get to “dress down until I disappear”, and I really like that too. So this comes back to the question that spawned these articles in the first place, which is, “what does THAT say about me?” To be honest, I’m not to clear on this one. Analyzing it, I’d say that while I like that self-loathing element I referenced earlier, but I wouldn’t say I’m a particularly self-loathing person. Rather, I think for me, I like this song and the ideas contained within it because it comes off as a way of weaponizing the negative aspects of myself. Like I say, I’m not sure I’ve got too much self-loathing per se, but I’m certainly aware that I’m not the smoothest fucker around. Taking the things I don’t like about myself but can’t really help (among these, I might say that I “dress myself in fucking lies”) and mixing them in with the things I do like about myself and try to reinforce, well, I suppose that’s the formula to create the whole of my personality. The sexual element is especially clear in the song with the metaphor of evening wear, make-up, and the process of dressing oneself up for a sexual encounter, but if you want to examine how this applies to me specifically, I think the final idea is that all the dressing up just builds me to the point where I dissolve away – “dress down until I disappear.” However, the line after that is “but I won’t do it alone.” And to me, that whole process describes a certain kind of sex. To me, it’s like a one-night-stand where both parties go out with the express intention of having one, looking to pick up or get picked up, and all the rituals that lead up to the main event, all the dressing up and presentation, until you finally get to the moment where you dress down… and then it’s over. “Dress down until I disappear, but I won’t do it alone.” I think when I say it like this, with all the analysis and whatnot, it sounds a bit heavy, and kind of depressing, but the reality of it entails exactly that kind of edgy sexuality that I’m attracted to, that Mindless Self Indulgence so often makes me think of. Get out there, party, rock out, fuck, do whatever however, and most importantly, do it for you. The rituals of it are all just part of the fun – that’s what this song represents to me, with the bittersweet moments identified just as clearly as the fun ones.
Normally I put a little survey at the bottom of each entry here, but honestly, nobody is answering it. Hopefully this entry was at least interesting – I think it’s a little more introspective than I’m actually feeling these days, and would be more suited to a blog, but I think that’s just the nature of this series. If you really enjoy it anyways, or if you have anything else to say, leave a comment! I’d love to hear your feedback on these articles.