Sunday Short Reviews

Every Sunday, Gill delves into his archive of over 800 movie reviews and randomly selects three for your enjoyment! Here are this week’s…

I’m a big fan of movies that are so bad they’re good, and Nemesis definitely falls into this category. The story makes no sense and is constantly jumping around in time without rhyme or reason. The hero saves a puppy in one scene, we flash forward three years to see the dog is full grown, and then the dog is immediately killed. What was the point? Your guess is as good as mine. The bad guys wear sunglasses indoors more often than when they’re outdoors, everything explodes (including a flagpole!), and at one point the hero fights a random bad guy while they slide down a carnival-sized super slide filled with cement. Beyond how dumb it is, Nemesis is also worth mentioning because of a number of early roles from young celebrities like Tom Jane and Jackie Earle Haley, and the movie also features a cameo from Sven-Ole Thorsen, b-movie actor extraordinaire. It may be really stupid, but Nemesis is never boring and I had a great time watching it. If you appreciate trashy cinema that moves at a breakneck pace, then you’ll get a kick out of Nemesis. If not, then avoid this by a mile.
4 out of 5

Nemesis 2 – Nebula
Unfortunately, Nemesis 2 is completely unrelated to its awesomely trashy predecessor except for its title, and was clearly made on a significantly lower budget. The film isn’t quite so-bad-it’s-good material, but it’s actually the perfect film to heckle with some friends while drinking beer. Just make sure you have a lot of beer, because sometimes Nemesis 2 drags, and only the most hardcore b-movie geeks will be able to handle it sans alcohol. The most entertaining thing about this movie is the size of the protagonist’s thighs.
1 out of 5

The Raven
The Raven is pretty obviously trying to cash in on the popularity of Guy Ritchie’s Sherlock Holmes movies, this time casting John Cusack as Edgar Allan Poe in the detective role. I was expecting this film to be utter garbage, but I’ll admit that the mystery didn’t have a predictable resolution, so I suppose that speaks to The Raven‘s credit. Still, the pacing was poor and John Cusack’s Poe wasn’t overly compelling. At least they had the good sense to make this a one-off film and not try for a franchise. The interesting elements of this one barely made it across the finish line.
2.5 out of 5

See you next Sunday for three more thrilling short reviews!

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