Before They Were Stars: Sylvester Stallone in “A Man Called… Rainbo”

It’s no big secret that Sylvester Stallone was so desperate for work during his early days as an actor that he once did a porn film. However, the first legitimate movie that Stallone got to star in was a 1970 drama called No Place to Hide, the story of a group of politically motivated students who decide to plan terrorist bombings of corrupt businesses in New York City. The film pretty much sank without a trace until the 1980s when Stallone became a huge star and the director decided to capitalize on this by re-editing and re-releasing his film under the title, Rebel. But it didn’t stop there. In 1990, outtakes from No Place to Hide were recycled in a film called A Man Called… Rainbo, a project which followed the formula of Kung Pow: Enter the Fist and Woody Allen’s What’s Up, Tiger Lily?. The filmmakers basically took footage from No Place to Hide, dubbed over goofy dialogue, combined it with some new footage they shot, and released the whole thing as a “comedy”. And they decided to use the name Rainbo because it looked just like Rambo… get it? Yes, that VHS cover actually has a scratch-and-sniff sticker over Stallone’s armpit, which should give you a pretty good idea about the level of wit involved in this production. On the basis of this trailer, A Man Called… Rainbo looks painfully unfunny.

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