Sunday Short Reviews

Every Sunday, Gill delves into his archive of over 800 movie reviews and randomly selects three for your enjoyment! Here are this week’s…

Jack the Giant Slayer
I was hoping that this film would be a throwback to the fantasy movies of the 1980s, and while there’s a healthy dose of adventure in Jack the Giant Slayer, it feels half-baked. None of the characters change or progress, their motivations are unclear, and they’re not given much to do. The fight scenes are sadly uninspired, but thankfully the solid cast and decent special effects (I liked the designs of the giants, especially the main one’s second head) mean the film isn’t a total loss. It’s fine, but little more than fine, and while I was never bored as the movie went on, I was disappointed overall.
3 out of 5

Not Another B-Movie
Here’s a movie that clearly thinks it’s cleverer than it is, and the main character is obviously just a stand-in for the writer. The movie is basically a series of vignettes of condensed horror movie cliches as the main character struggles with writer’s block trying to construct the plot for his next film. This means that we just got a load of cliched situations with no beginning or end, and no consistent characters. Thus, the only character that exists to anchor the audience is a boring dude drinking in a restaurant, which in turn means that there’s no suspense or tension, and you don’t care about anything that’s going on. What’s more, the movie doesn’t even contain the most basic tittilations of a b-movie like gratuious gore or nudity. There’s nothing to enjoy! Indeed, this is not another b-movie: it’s a turd!
1 out of 5

Oz the Great and Powerful
To me, this movie felt a lot like Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland in that a famous horror director has been handed a mainstream family franchise to attempt to breathe new life into it. Thankfully, Sam Raimi doesn’t make many of the same mistakes as Tim Burton with Oz the Great and Powerful, but the result is similarly bland and uninspired. And it features not just one, but TWO annoying CGI sidekicks who contribute nothing to the plot. Still, James Franco is likeable enough, and the fact that it’s basically a remake of Army of Darkness with a G rating is fun to think about, but with so many of the original Oz books written by L. Frank Baum now in the public domain, one has to wonder why Disney didn’t choose to adapt one of them instead.
3 out of 5

See you next Sunday for three more thrilling short reviews!

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