Apparently people are already poo-pooing Machete Kills, the sequel to Machete – itself a movie based on a fake trailer based on a character from the Spy Kids movies. No, I’m not making any of that up. Now, I really don’t see what the problem is here. Robert Rodriguez has been making schlocky, camp-fest b-movies since the 90s. That penis gun first showed up in a movie of his in what? 1995? It’s not like any of this is anything new. Frankly, I’m just happy that he’s still being allowed to make movies like this one – it’s like a Troma film with a big budget! Anyway, here is the first official clip from Machete Kills, which features Lady Gaga in a Kombi and Sofia Vergera with machinegun boobs and a machinegun dick. I predict that eventually Rodriguez will feature a character who is made entirely of machineguns. He’s already done a machinegun leg, machinegun breasts and a machinegun penis, after all. It’s only a matter of time. Also, does anybody else feel kinda dirty ogling Alexa Vega’s ass in this clip? She was one of the Spy Kids! Well, it makes me feel dirty. But not so dirty that I didn’t look.
Machete Kills comes out October 11, 2013.