Yesterday I posted the tease-y teaser for Darren Aronofsky’s Noah, starring Russell Crowe. It looked pretty goofy, but it was just a tiny taste of the film, so all bets were off. Well, the bets are on now, because some full trailers for the movie have dropped and holy crap…it looks bad, guys. This really does look like something Roland Emmerich would cook up. I could almost buy it until the horde of CGI animals turned up, but man, that bit with the snakes? It just doesn’t work for me. The thing about Bible stories is that they’re metaphors. This isn’t something that works in a literal context, at least not for me. Call me a heathen if you must. Anyway, I’m really disappointed in Darren Aronofsky. As Grant put it, this movie is likely to be visually spectacular, but thematically dull.
Noah comes out March 28, 2014.