Welcome to Jurassic World

In what is quickly becoming the norm, the trailer for Jurassic World dropped online early due to someone leaking a bootleg version of it. In this age of the internet, it’s pretty clear to me that if you tease something that is obviously already made (such as a movie trailer), people are going to find a way to watch it before you intend for them to. So studios, take note: if you have a trailer, just release the damn thing.

Now, with that out of the way, here are my thoughts on this trailer for Jurassic World. First the good. The park looks great. I love how they’ve updated it to look like a more modern theme park, and I even dig some of the sillier things, like the gyro-bubbles. I’m calling it now: one of those spheres will results in a call-back to the beginning of Raiders of the Lost Ark. Jurassic Seaworld is also a stroke of genius, and is one of the highlights of the trailer for me. It looks like the filmmakers are doing all the right things for this belated sequel – namely going batshit insane with everything. Hybrid-o-saurus! Chris Pratt on a motorcycle with a team of trained raptors! It’s all so out there that I bet it’s going to be hella fun, even if the movie is dumb. But hey, I can already tell that it won’t be dumber than Jurassic Park III.

Now the bad. The characters already come off as flat and uninteresting. I don’t give a crap about the two kids, Bryce Dallas Howard appears to be in this just to look good while delivering pseudo-scientific dialogue, and Chris Pratt, though I love the guy, is just a dulled-down rehash of three characters from the first movie: Alan Grant. Ian Malcolm and Robert Muldoon. And it’s entirely possible that this will be an enormous mess.

All of that being said, I still think my version is better. Jurassic World comes out June 12, 2015.

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