http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siG9PqvHg4s
Drunks can be entertaining, fun, good natured people (provided they’re not puking on your shoes), and sometimes getting someone you hate positively wasted can actually make you enjoy their company! Another reason we love lushes here in the Back Row is that some of our favourite characters from the world of cinema are drunks! From Bluto Blutarsky (Animal House) to Tony Stark (Iron Man), there are plenty of alcoholic film protagonists for us to adore. What follows is a list of my top five favourite movie drinkers and their preferred beverages (complete with recipes)!
5. Henri Marie Toulouse-Lautrec Montfa, Absinthe (Moulin Rouge)
Toulouse-Lautrec, the famous French painter, may have been Leguizamo-fied in the Baz Luhrmann film Moulin Rouge, but he was a real guy, and notorious for imbibing his favourite beverage: absinthe. The Green Fairy itself, this anise-flavoured spirit contains wormwood, a chemical that some people believe to be a psychoactive drug which causes hallucinations. Some debate exists over whether reported absinthe hallucinations were caused by wormwood or by poisons which were used in the creation of bootlegged absinthe, but having been drunk on the stuff myself, I can honestly say that I did not hallucinate in the slightest. I did have the worst hangover of my life the next day, though. The drink is prepared by one of two methods:
The French Method:
1. Pour a shot of absinthe into a glass and place a slotted spoon across the mouth.
2. Place a sugar cube on the spoon.
3. Pour ice-cold water over the sugar cube and into the glass until the absinthe becomes cloudy.
4. Stir in the sugar cube and enjoy.
The Bohemian Method:
1. Pour a shot of absinthe into a glass and place a slotted spoon across the mouth.
2. Place a sugar cube on the spoon.
3. Pour more absinthe over the sugar cube and then set it on fire.
4. Douse it with ice water, stir it into the drink and enjoy.
4. Homer Simpson, Duff Beer (The Simpsons)
Homer Simpson is the lazy, doughnut-munching, beer-swilling dad from Matt Groening’s legendary television series The Simpsons. He’s so famous that I felt stupid writing that last sentence, but I am nothing if not thorough. His drink of choice is Duff beer, and like Homer it is incredibly famous. Apparently there are a variety of beers under the Duff label available in the UK, Australia, Mexico, Germany and Spain…but none in North America, unfortunately. All we have available is a crappy energy drink that comes in a Duff can. Lame.
3. Zaphod Beeblebrox, Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster (The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy)
Zaphod Beeblebrox is the two-headed, three-armed former Galactic President, and captain of the starship Heart of Gold! Along with his companions Ford, Trillian, Arthur, and Marvin the paranoid android, Zaphod does whatever the heck he wants as he galavants his way around the universe. Zaphod’s preferred drink is the pan-galactic gargle blaster, which he invented, the effects of which resemble the sensation of having your brain smashed out with a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick. According to the Guide, this is how it is made:
Take the juice from one bottle of that Ol’ Janx Spirit.
Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V
Allow three cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the mixture (it must be properly iced or the benzene is lost).
Allow four litres of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it (in memory of all those happy Hikers who have died of pleasure in the Marshes of Fallia).
Over the back of a silver spoon float a measure of Qualactin Hypermint extract, redolent of all the heady odours of the dark Qualactin Zones.
Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger. Watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the Algolian suns deep into the heart of the drink.
Sprinkle Zamphour.
Add an olive.
Drink…but very carefully.
2. The Dude, White Russian (The Big Lebowski)
Unfortunately, I couldn’t find a good clip of the Dude drinking his favourite drink, so I’ll go with one of my favourite segments in the movie: Gutterballs, a hallucination that the Dude experiences after drinking a drugged White Russian. When the stoner slacker hero of The Big Lebowski isn’t bowling or being chased by nihilists, he enjoys the comfort of a good old White Russian. The White Russian is a cocktail made by mixing vodka, coffee liquer (most commonly Kahlua) and milk or cream. Bailey’s Irish Cream can be substituted in for the coffee liquer. The drink is served on the rocks. And y’know, it’s pretty damn good.
1. James Bond, Vodka Martini – Shaken Not Stirred (any James Bond movie)
Ian Fleming’s charismatic superspy ordered this drink so often that it’s now a pop culture cliche. Even if you like vodka martinis, shaken not stirred, you’d still be written off as a Bond fanboy if you were to order one. The martini is prepared by adding three shots of vodka and about a third of a shot of vermouth to a martini shaker filled with ice. Shake it up and pour into the appropriate glass. Add a twist of lemon peel, an olive, or a cocktail onion on a toothpick, and a drizzle of olive brine if you want to make it dirty.
BONUS: Wong Fei-Hung, ANYTHING! (The Legend of Drunken Master)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7D45vGI418
Wong Fei-Hung, played by Jackie Chan in the Drunken Master movies, uses alcohol both to numb the pain of fighting, but also to enhance his ability to use the martial art of Drunken Boxing! Throughout the movie, Wong just downs whatever booze he can find, even consuming industrial alcohol in the film’s final battle! Truly, it would be a major oversight on my part if I failed to include him.
Honorable Mentions:
Raoul Duke, Wild Turkey (Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas)
Tony Stark, anything (Iron Man)
Shaun and Ed, beer (Shaun of the Dead)
Withnail, wine/cider (Withnail & I)
Inspector Aberline, absinthe (From Hell)
Bob and Doug McKenzie, beer (Strange Brew)
Bluto Blutarsky, beer/Jack Daniels (Animal House)
Miles (Paul Giamatti), wine (Sideways)
The Hobbits, ale (Lord of the Rings)
Drink responsibly!